


not quite a queen

by legobricked



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: F/M, One-Sided Attraction, Platonic Female/Male Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-21
Updated: 2014-02-21
Packaged: 2018-01-13 06:32:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1216141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/legobricked/pseuds/legobricked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the war with Plegia, Chrom must focus his duties to restoring his halidom. However, his heart has been focused on something- someone- else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	not quite a queen

**Author's Note:**

> chapter 11 is suffering
> 
> (also bless the ao3 tags)
> 
> x-posted from here: http://otomeemblem.tumblr.com/post/69764182692/not-quite-a-queen-3388-words-more-note-this

It had been six months since the war with Plegia ended, she thought. Six months since she stayed in Ylisse to assist Chrom in rebuilding his kingdom.

She sighed wistfully at the thought, stretching her arms out slowly. Her joints clicked and her neck did the same as she rolled it from one side to the other. The first few months had been particularly taxing on her and Chrom, so much so that River sometimes found herself wanting to go back to fighting the bandits and Risen that still plagued the lands. At least then she could kill something when she got angry. Here, she had to conduct business and diplomacy with patience and tolerance, both of which ran shorter in supply as the days wore on.

Still, she knew her job wasn’t nearly as tiresome as for her friend. River got up from her desk that was covered with documents and maps and treaties (and other such important papers), and walked to the window in her study. River opened the window and a soft breeze rushed into her study, blowing some documents to the ground. She didn’t pay them any mind, instead leaning on the windowsill. Down below in the castle gardens, she saw Chrom taking repose.

River perched herself on the sill, placing her elbow on her knee and her hand to her chin. Chrom was having tea with Lissa and Maribelle, the latter two dominating the conversation, as (River correctly guessed) Chrom was much too exhausted to contribute.

River scrutinized the newly-made Exalt to the best of her abilities. Being three stories above the ground made it difficult for River to see clearly, but she knew Chrom was even more tired than she was and it showed. For a brief moment, River thought that she could even see the bags under his eyes all the way up from where she sat. She rubbed her eyes. That was, of course, impossible, but it didn’t diminish the fact that Chrom worked tirelessly for his kingdom. Looking down again, River saw Chrom excuse himself from the table. Even at the vehement protest of Lissa and Maribelle, Chrom left the table and headed back inside to continue his duties. On his way back though, Chrom spotted the tactician at her window. He smiled brightly at her and waved; River returned his greeting with a friendly salute and likewise smiled.

Suddenly, a thought crossed her mind and she almost fell from the window from its sheer brilliance. She called out to Chrom to meet her later after dinner, telling him she had something vitally important to discuss with him. The Exalt gave the tactician a questioning stare (after running underneath her window, worried she might fall), but agreed nonetheless. He finally entered the castle, a chuckle escaping his lips, and left River’s sight.

Huffing heavily from nearly falling out of the window, River smiled to herself and muttered, “You sly dog, you.” She shut the window to her study and went back to work.

****

The sun had set many hours ago, so everyone carried lanterns with them to light their way back to their rooms from the mess hall. Though Chrom was Exalt now, he still preferred the close quarters of the friendly halls and ate amongst the servants and soldiers, freely chatting with them about their daily activities and happenings. The tactician had finished her meal long before anyone else, so she took to wandering around the castle grounds. However, she had gotten lost in her wanderings and decided to wait next to the training dummies, lest she wanted Chrom to run around the castle grounds for the rest of the night looking for her. She sighed and pressed her fingers to her eyes in disappointment that she could still get lost and cause trouble for her friend (who already had enough to worry about).

When he finally found her sitting on haystacks, Chrom greeted his lost friend with a question, asking how in the world she could be so deft in the battlefield yet so clueless everywhere else. River glared at him, saying nothing as she had no witty reply to his painfully accurate observation. Chrom laughed it off though, stating that he had gotten used to looking for her when she got lost and, he said, “It’s the least I can do for you.” River chuckled as well, shaking her head at all the grief she’s given to Chrom. They both headed back to the castle, idly chatting along the way.

By the time they reached the doors, Chrom and River were in tears after recounting the time one particular noble got bit by Sumia’s pegasus, which coincidentally happened after he muttered a rude comment about Chrom wasting time worrying so much about the “common folk.”

“What was he even here for?” River asked, wiping a tear from her eye.

“I’m not exactly sure,” Chrom admitted. “It’s been a while since then, and all I can remember is his high-pitched squealing after he found out his entire bottom side had been uncovered.”

“Rather mercilessly, too. I never knew Sumia had it in her,” River said, impressed by the clumsy girl’s aggressiveness.

They continued their way through the gigantic halls. After sharing more stories, they finally stopped in an empty waiting room. Chrom cleared his throat and began.

“So, what was this ‘vitally important’ thing you had to discuss with me about?”

Suddenly, River’s smiling face became somber and she quietly walked to the glass doors that opened to the gardens. She didn’t answer Chrom immediately, mulling over her thoughts, carefully choosing her words.

After much deliberation (to which Chrom didn’t mind, he was very comfortable around the tactician), she finally spoke, “Have you ever thought of marrying, Chrom?”

A sputter came from behind River, and she turned to find Chrom choking on his own spit. She covered her mouth in horror, moving forward to help him but Chrom waved her away. She noted his face began reddening (as well as his ears, she always thought it was endearing) and Chrom finally managed to clear his throat after much coughing.

(River was unsure if the man was irritated or embarrassed, though she guessed it was a mix of both.)

“Why would I think of such matters? I can’t spend my time thinking of courtship when I have a kingdom to look after!” Chrom huffed angrily, his cheeks flushing into a deeper shade. Right on the mark, River thought.

“Hey, now, there’s no need to be so rash,” River raised her hands in her defense. “It’s not a totally personal thing to consider. There are practical, political uses for the Exalt to find himself a wife, you know.” Chrom’s shoulder fell slightly at the statement. His face contorted in confusion and suspicion.

River flashed a charming smile at him, “Don’t you think it’d be a good idea to have a queen at the Exalt’s side? She could be the symbol of grace, kindness, and tolerance, a figure of hope to your people in these trying times.” River always knew she had a flair for language, and she used it to her full advantage now. “While you,” River gestured to Chrom with great flourish, “Great Exalt, General of the courageous Shepherds, represent responsibility and order. The Exalt’s queen could also do things you don’t have time to do, too, like visiting towns across the kingdom, opening schools, and do all those other things royalty do as a gesture of goodwill.” River bowed her head slightly, still smiling at him.

Chrom considered River’s words. She did make a strong argument. Though Chrom was able to handle things such as the physical rebuilding of his kingdom well enough, he hardly had time to visit various parts of Ylisse that would boost his people’s morale. But, he knew there was something else to all of this. He wasn’t about to give into River’s scheme so easily.

“You do have a point,” Chrom conceded, “Several points actually. But are you sure this idea of yours is completely professional, River?”

The tactician put on her best poker face and merely shrugged at his question. “It’s as professional and impersonal an idea as one makes it out to be,” she replied. Chrom sighed at her vague response. There was no way he’d win at a battle of words, so he opted out, heading out to the gardens with the tactician quietly trailing him a few paces back. Chrom finally stopped in front of the table he sat at just this afternoon with Lissa and Maribelle. Then, turning to River, still a few paces back, he sighed again. River didn’t say anything, deciding to give Chrom some time to let him speak whatever was on his mind.

“Look, even if I agreed to getting a wife, which I’m not,” Chrom made a small disclaimer before continuing, “I wouldn’t even know how to go about it.” Chrom turned away from River and placed his hand on the table. “Even though I was the leader of the Shepherds, it was hard for me to talk with them, if I ever got the chance, especially… our female… compatriots.” Chrom blushed heavily, though River mistakenly attributed it to the dim lighting from the castle.

“You talked to me outside of our strategy meetings,” River said nonchalantly.

Chrom’s head snapped to River and River gave him a confused look.

“I-I wasn’t suggesting… that YOU weren’t a… a female compatriot…” Chrom stuttered, “Or that… I didn’t THINK of you… as one…”

River merely stared at him for a while, though it was hard for Chrom to read her expression since she faced away from the lights. Then, laughter erupted from her mouth. She clutched her stomach and almost fell to her knees, making Chrom more embarrassed than he needed to be.

“Oh, in Naga’s name…” River once again wiped a tear from her eyes. “Chrom, that wasn’t the point I was getting at. I meant that you talk to  _me_  easily and often enough. I don’t understand why you say you don’t know how to talk to the other women.”

After realizing what she had said, he looked away in shame. He clutched one of the chairs and began to tap it nervously with his fingers.

“Well, that’s the thing,” he said, “I haven’t talked to the other women… because I only want to talk to  _you_.”

River had taken to admiring the flowers in the garden as Chrom tried to compose himself. But at that last statement, she immediately stopped and snapped her head towards him, a look of concern appearing on her face.

“Chrom… You know we won’t work.  _Can’t_  work, in fact,” River stated firmly.

He let go of his grip of the chair and turned to River, “I know, River! I know we can’t be…” Chrom couldn’t finish his sentence. Clearing his throat, he continued on, “I just– We’ve been so close during the war and since the war ended. You’ve always been there for me even though I’ve done nothing to warrant your kindness. You helped me, and Lissa, after Emm died and I…” Chrom covered his eyes in frustration. “Not only are you the greatest asset this kingdom has ever gained, you’re also my closest friend. But you mean more to me than that,” he slumped into a chair and sighed once again, this one much deeper and heavier.

“I love you,” he spoke, his voice barely above a whisper, “and more than as a friend. That much had become apparent to me after the war ended, and our time together since then has only made it clearer to me.” Chrom finally made eye contact with her. River’s concerned look was now mixed with pain. She broke eye contact with a grimace, refusing to look at Chrom even when he called her name.

“Chrom,” she said, her back turned to him. “I’ve suspected for a while that you… felt this way about me,” she turned her head slightly to the side but still didn’t look at him. Her voice quieted down as she spoke, and Chrom stepped forward from his chair to hear her better (and he listened carefully with the slightest glimmer of hope). “And, well, I love you, too. But not in the same way as you do.”

There was a lump in his throat that stopped him from speaking, so she continued.

“I would bring you nothing but unhappiness,” River said. She finally turned to him, a look of melancholy in her eyes. “I’m a horrible person, even though I know you don’t see me like that. And I would do anything for you, Chrom,” she took a seat in one of the other chairs, resting her elbows on the table, fingers entwining. “I’ve slaughtered countless men without a moment’s hesitation. I’ve burned an entire kingdom for you, and I would burn all the kingdoms in this world if it meant helping you,” River pressed her forehead against her hands while Chrom slowly made his way into his chair.

She looked up and smiled at him, but it was a different smile than any of the ones he’d seen before. It seemed so callous, indifferent to anything that wasn’t him.

“It’s not because of my job as your tactician, either. I’m a selfish, violent person who would and has used any means to get you a step closer to your dreams,” River confessed, sighing with a devious smile. She leaned back in her chair, stretching her hands out onto the table.

“To hell with duty, honor, image, and all that crap,” she continued, “I can’t be with you because I don’t deserve you. And you definitely don’t deserve a horrible person like me.” She looked across the table at Chrom, who sat quietly in his chair, and she grinned at him. It was a grin that seemed slightly unhinged, still as careless and uncaring as before.

He was almost shocked to hear River to admit such a thing, but for some reason he wasn’t altogether that surprised. He always wondered why the tactician devoted herself so fully to his cause, and now he had his answer (though he still didn’t believe her to be a terrible person; he had no way to justify it, but Chrom knew that his friend wasn’t as awful as she made herself out to be). With his thoughts muddled by the tactician’s strange confession, Chrom couldn’t do much besides pressing his fingers to his eyes.

“That doesn’t explain why you want me to find a wife,” Chrom managed to ask, finally.

River folded her arms behind her head in thought. “I thought that much was obvious,” she frowned slightly, slight disappointment in her voice.

Chrom peered through his fingers, grimacing at her casual tone and posture. “You told me you’d be willing to do anything for me, besides marry me even though it’s the one thing I want of you” Chrom tried his best to rephrase her words, “What part of that is obvious?”

Seeing Chrom struggling so much to keep up with her thoughts made River laugh. He knew frowning harder wouldn’t work, but once again he was left with nothing else to do. All he could do now was wait for another answer (he was getting quite tired of depending on the tactician, even though giving advice and answers was in her job description). She took her time in answering him, though, amused at his discomfort and confusion.

“I suggested you find a wife,” she slowly explained, “so you can have someone to support you in all the ways I can’t. Simple.” Chrom paused for a while, not expecting such a quick answer, before scoffing at her.

“You say you’re selfish, yet you always seem to be thinking about me,” Chrom observed.

River shrugged, “I’m selfish in a selfless way, I guess.” Chrom scoffed again at her ironic statement. River continued, unphased, “Making you happy makes me happy, among other things. That’s pretty selfish, isn’t it?”

Yet again, River made a fair point. Chrom frowned at her, annoyed by her roundabout logic that unfortunately made sense. He conceded to her point once more, earning a sly chuckle from the tactician. Despite everything, Chrom smiled at her. Though he’s never seen this side of the tactician, his fondness for her didn’t diminish in the slightest. He doubted it ever will, even if he did find someone else he wished to marry. And, for some inexplicable reason, he felt she was the same.

Smiling at himself, Chrom made an exaggerated sigh, drawing a suspicious glance from his friend.

“You’re right, as always,” Chrom began, getting out of his chair. “Nothing can _ever_  get past you. Fine, I agree to your proposal. I’ll try my best to find a wife.” River sat smiling smugly, proud of her victory.

“But, you’re going to have to do your best finding out who she is before the wedding bells ring.”

River face fell slightly. His words didn’t process in her head immediately, so she had to sit quietly to mull over what Chrom meant.

“Are you suggesting,” River slowly asked, “that you can hide your fiancée from me?”

“I guess I am,” Chrom shrugged similarly to how River did so earlier, “at least until we make an official wedding announcement, of course.” River glared at him from her seat.

“Fine, I accept your challenge,” River stood up, dusting her coat with feigned disinterest. She made her way around the table and stood in front of Chrom, “Don’t think that because I love you I won’t do everything I can in my power to sabotage you.”

(Chrom’s heart still quickened its pace when he heard her utter those words to him, but he managed to suppress any expression that might give it away.)

“And don’t think that because you’re my closest friend I’ll let you win so easily.”

They looked at each other, both wearing a smirk of mischievous defiance. River stuck out her hand and Chrom took it, shaking it firmly. Suddenly, River tugged at him, which caused Chrom to stumble forward. She caught him by his shoulders, gave him a light peck on the cheek, wished him good night with a smile, and walked off.

Though Chrom told himself the kiss was nothing, he found that the heat from his face wouldn’t die down even as he went to sleep. Chrom noted to put in double the effort to not lose this bet.

He didn’t realize, however, just how far the tactician would go to find out who his (potential) fiancée was. Their bet long forgotten, River became genuinely curious about who he was considering for a wife. It was taxing to know (and worry) that his friend was willing to go so far as to hang from the sixth story from a rope made of spare bed sheets, all just to sneak into his room a floor below and “gossip over his potential wives” (as Frederick was immensely tired from her antics and forbid them from staying up late in the night for that exact purpose).

Honestly, Chrom hadn’t chosen a particular woman yet. It had only been a month since he took up River’s suggestion and talk to his fellow female Shepherds (and it would certainly take some time before he got the courage to openly court any of them, damn his shy self).

It was also taxing to convince the entire castle that, no, he and River were NOT having an affair. He assured them, her reasons for hanging in front of his window were far too crazy to be waved off with a simple excuse of them being in love. They then noted he didn’t directly reject the notion that they loved each other, to which Chrom promptly responded that of course, he loved her, but it wasn’t in the way they suggested. She was less of a lover, and more of a person he simply could not live without, function even. They were beyond friends, but less than lovers.

“Two halves of the same whole.”

He smiled at his friends’ confused looks. River was resting in a separate room from another close brush with death, and he chuckled, amused about her unexpected recklessness.

“I guess,” he said, “I’m just fine with the way things are. I’m sure she is, too.”


End file.
